Tuesday, February 27, 2007
(Anything said or written by the demon Goshenk will be written in green letters. Thank you very much. I hope to eventually meet and destroy you all, in time.)
It's been a while since I've really talked to anyone but May, and of course, I don't plan to tell her what's wrong with me. It'd be nothing but wheat cookies for me. Wait, did I say anyone but May? Sorry, but I meant May and Goshenk. Yeah, Goshenk's the demon inside of me.
What an introduction, boy. Have you no respect?
None at all, so shut up... Right, where was I?
Well then, I suppose I'll have to introduce myself. The fact that I chose to inhabit this boy has been a mixed blessing. He has all the talent I could ever want, but he is too strong for me to control. It's as much as I can do to speak, and even then, only when he lets me.
I am Goshenk, and I am one of the most powerful of all demons...
(Snicker...)
SHUT UP, BOY! It is only by the curse of Satan himself that I must be bound to a mortal being. As I was saying, there was once a powerful warrior by the name of Wulfgar. He was captured by the godess Lolth, and given to the balor Errtu. One of Errtu's favorite torture methods was to have a succubus take on the form of Wulfgar's love, and seduce him.
They would afterwards reveal their true nature, thus bringing delicious, delectable pain to his soul. If the union resulted in offspring, Errtu would rip the half-breed infant apart in front of Wulfgar. But on the last occasion where a succubus deceived Wulfgar, the infant had such extraordinary power that he was spared. And that is the story of my birth.
When I was young, I once went to visit Hell. It gives me shame to admit this, but I had the misfortune to actually meet Satan there. In short, I stubbed his toe, and ever since, I have had to inhabit mortal bodies for my survival.
I have inhabited many people since the beggining of this dimension. I started with the Prince of Persia, from whom I acquired the Tail of Daggers. I moved on to others, from Hitler to Pol Pot. I even had a brief stint inside a woman named Lorena Bobbitt, but I quickly moved on to another male subject. They are much easier to manipulate.
I will not tell you the tale of how I entered this boy. He will tell you in his own time. Will you not?
That's enough. Anyways, I received a call from the X-Mansion. Laura is missing apparently, and Professor Xavier is too busy fighting Oprah to look for her with Cerebro. (A sentence I never thought I'd write.)
That's where Goshenk came in. I figure that if he's going to live inside me, he might as well pay rent, no?
Wretch.
Thank you. Anyway, Goshenk has contacts in low places, so we made a few "calls". I don't like hurting innocent people, but beating the crap out of imps is fun. Especially since the imp I smacked around was the same one that tricked HS into going to Hell.
I made a few calls of my own. I told HS' family that I knew where he and Laura were, and that I was going after them. I also told them that if anyone, especially Pan tried to follow me, there'd be Hell to pay, pardon my pun. Then I called Wolverine.
"What?" he said as he answered the phone.
"This is Angus."
"I know, caller ID. Whad'ya want?"
This man knows how to use caller ID?
"I know where HS and Laura are. Meet me on the roof of Clover Heights."
"Thatd be where ya and the web-head live, right?"
I hung up, and turned to the imp who was bound in a magic barrier that not even teleportation could get him out of. One of Goshenk's spells.
I smiled, and Goshenk did too.
"When the big bad wolf gets here, you're gonna take us all to Hell, right?" I asked.
The imp nodded nervously.
"Good boy."